Moxie says it's bedtime
I have decided that:
1. I am not working with people over 65 ever again.
2. I am going to shoot myself in the head when I turn 65 so I don't become a nuisance to the general population.
I tested our new "automated phone system" script with a group of seniors. Each test comprises of playing telephone. The senior pretends to phone into the shelter, and I read off the automated phone script. We have them "call" in for various reasons, to test the structure and usability of the information trees, and identify any possible problems. These tests ideally take less than 10 minutes per volunteer.
Until you test it out on senior women.
All of the testing on seniors went thusly:
1. After showing up about three hours early, the senior first complains about:
a. the weather
b. the traffic
c. the temperature of the building
d. the noise coming from the dogs
e. her arthritis.
2. Each senior wants a tour of the shelter.
3. Each senior is a member of the Women's Auxiliary, so shes want to see the X-ray machine the WA purchased for the shelter.
4. Each senior becomes upset when I inform her we can't walk through the clinic area when there is an operation in progress.
5. Each senior then complains that volunteering is a rewardless sacrifice on her part, and some days she doesn't even know why she bothers to support the society.
6. I finally convince her to sit down and participate in the test.
7. The test is constantly interrupted while the senior gives me a lecture on why having an automated phone system is a bad idea. "Why don't you just hire someone to answer the phones?" I try to explain that we now have TWO people to answer the phones, but suddenly the senior goes deaf.
8. After the test, the senior launches into a long spiel describing an incident involving an animal, the humane society, Matlock, and god.
9. I curse my manager for torturing me with these people.
10. I finally convince the senior that as a paid staff member, my duties don't include listening to senile old animal-hoarders who are desperately lonely and talkative.
Tomorrow I am going to write a proposal, stating that "working, assisting, helping, or having any other interaction with a person over the age of 65 is no longer a required job duty of the Communications Coordinator."